The Elfin Blog

Yesterday I returned from a trip to Van Wert, Ohio to see my friend and co-worker Ben get married. I haven’t been out of Columbus for awhile and it was nice to get away. It was especially pleasant to see the green and rich wide, open farm land of Ohio. The corn was coming in well, which is a nice change for Ohio farmers from recent years. I think that the nature of my trip also contributed to the feeling of happiness and contentment I felt as I made the two hour drive home down US 33 East.

I went to a wedding. I went to see two people marry themselves before God and community. Together they promised themselves to each other and to God for the rest of their lives. That’s a pretty incredible thing to do. I think it’s a pretty awesome committment and responsibilty as well. A committment that most Americans don’t take seriously enough.

I mean let’s look at some things here from a Christian standpoint. Jesus thought that marriage was important enough to attend the wedding feast at Cana, along with his disciples. He even chose that event to be the location of one of his first miracles (perhaps his very first) when he transformed 90 - 180 gallons of water into wine. Later Jesus would talk about the importance of not getting divorced, of staying together. The fact that Jesus chose to talk about these things, to teach about them, shows that he thought them important and relevant.

Not into my Christian interpretation? Okay. Marriage, or some arrangement where by a man and woman are joined in some life-long bond, contract, or convenant recognized by the community has been around since recorded human history and probably longer. Virtually every organized religion that I can think of has a marriage rite for joining two people. Why? Well I think basically because we need each other. We are meant to be together. We are created for community. We are social creatures. If God or mother nature wanted us to breed and move on, then marriage would not exist. It is necessary for our survivial, for our growth, for our stability as a species and as people. Marriage ulitmately fulfills a wide array of basic and emotional needs that are hard wired into us from the get go.

Ben and his new wife Jamie are just the latest example for me to draw upon. I have seen two other marriages of my friends this spring and summer. In one, an ex-girlfriend of mine married a good friend, and in the one of my best friends got married to a wonderful person. As I was fortunate enough to be in attendence at both weddings, I was also fortunate enough to see just how damn perfect these people all are for each other. It’s hard not to be overwhelemed by how happy I am for them or, more to the point, how happy they are. I think that in both cases both people involved are better off than they were before their new spouses entered their lives.

This does not mean that these folks won’t experience individual and marital turmoil or challenges. Of course they will. But that’s the point. Now they’ve got someone who they love on their team - forever. When one falls the other picks up the slack. They are for each other. When they challenge each other, they grow; they become better than they were before.

Now am I bringing all this up just because I went to Ben and Jamie’s wedding feast in Van Wert, Ohio, or because I attended the weddings of my other good friends? No, not just because of that. I am, in fact, getting married myself in a month or so. (That’s right ladies. The Elf is off the market). So marriage has been on my mind quite a bit lately, and let me tell you something: I can’t wait. Lately I’ve been asked if I am nervous, or getting “the jitters.” No - I am anxious though. I am eager to marry my future bride. I am eager to be better than I was before, to be stronger. I am excited about being for someone besides myself. God knows I can use someone to be for me.

Just as Jesus was at the wedding feast in Cana, and he was at the wedding feasts of my friends, and he was even at the wedding feast in Van Wert, I believe he’ll be at mine, because marriage is important. Marriage is a miracle in and of itself. I can’t wait for mine.