The Elfin Blog

With the onset of the last holiday season of the 1900’s, the usual passel of old friends and loved ones has descended on my home town for visits and merry making. This time of year always makes me remember how many people there are out there in the world I care about, and how little time I devote to them. Then I remember that a great majority of those people live here in town with me all year long and I still don’t bestow on them their deserved minutes. This troubles me more and more each year.

As I grow older I always seem to have less time for my friends and family, but the number of people I want to spend time with does not decrease. In fact the number of people who I might be able to call friend, if only I had more time to spend with them, increases each year, not to mention the fact that I have already been generously blessed with people who I already consider to be my good amigos. This leads to an ever growing sense of holiday guilt, for lack of a better term, about not being able to spend time with all the people I’d like to see.

Now a critic might say that if I really wanted to see someone I’d make the time, and this is true. In fact I do manage to find the time for many people, but inevitably someone gets left out, and this is where my cognitive dissidence comes from. Usually the people who I don’t get to see have been weeded out by an odd system of prioritization, who’s criteria include number of years I’ve known the person, how long it’s been since I’ve spoken with them, whether they call me a great deal, or e-mail me often, just to name a few. I know this sounds terrible, and one might say that I don’t really care about the people who I don’t share time with, but I do, and this is why I feel so bad when I don’t see someone who I had hoped to catch a glimpse of. This is all very stressful for me, not to mention the general stress of the holiday malaise.

Now you might be thinking, this guy is actually complaining about having too many friends. But that is not the case. I have been blessed with lot’s of wonderful people to call friend, and for that I am very thankful. What I am complaining about is the lack of time afforded me by life. I am sure I’m not the only person out there who feels this way. I just hope that someday I might find all the time I want for all the people I care about, but short of winning the lottery, I don’t see it happening.

So to all my friends out there, know that even if I haven’t seen you for a while, or spoken to you, I still like you and care about you. Know that you have not been cast aside, as I hope you have not forgotten me. I hope that someday soon we’ll talk, maybe have beers and catch up on old times, and create some new ones. Anyway, Merry Christmas, belatedly, and have a wonderful, joyous, amazing New Year.